I've always loved paintings of the Savior as the Good Shepherd with the flock of sheep, especially if he is holding a lamb.  It was from studying more about parenting and "sparing the rod" spoiling the child, etc. that I have a whole new understanding as to how Jesus Christ really is our perfect example in all things.

For a long time I've struggled with the concept of how his example applies to parenting children because there hasn't been a 'literal' example of being married or raising children 'family' style if you know what I mean.  Then last week as I was looking up some things in the scriptures about 'fathers who spare the rod hateth his son' (the thing that sparked it was the saying of 'spare the rod, spoil the child' after I had heard a councilor say that the rod isn't a beating stick, but the staff of the good shepherd, used to guide the sheep, not punish them...) I finally understand.

I was looking  up passages in the Bible and Book of Mormon using the term 'rod' in them and I thought, the "rod" has been used in the scriptures a lot as "the word of God" or the scriptures, and as I applied that thought, all the passages, save one, fit that perspective BETTER that what I had always thought it was... (basically, a stick.)

For instance, if you don't teach your children the gospel and the scriptures... yes, you 'hate' your child... or spoil them... only not spoil in our modern day meaning, rather spoil as in destroy...  Then I  had the thought to look up the term "rod" in the Merriam Webster dictionary.  One of the definitions is a club, like a shepherds cudgel.

Hmm... I thought, interesting because it's different than a staff... the staff is used to guide the sheep... what is the club used for?  Immediately it was obvious.  It's certainly not for beating the sheep into submission or as punishment.  Shepherds NEVER beat their flocks, the flocks know and trust the shepherd, that is why they follow him while he leads the way... the club is to protect the sheep from the enemy!  It's to keep them safe!  (just like we are sheep, and the rod is the scriptures that keep us safe from our enemy who would destroy us, Satan!) 

Wow, it makes SO MUCH SENSE now.  Basically, our job is to teach our children how to use agency and guide them as they go so they will grow and learn, not demand them to do what we want by verbal or physical force... that is pushing them, not leading.  Shepherds don't push the sheep... they lead the sheep.

When we see our children making wrong decisions that would lead them astray from the flock, we teach them gospel principles, using the scriptures and the words of Christ, and then let them choose.  When we force our will upon them we become as wolves in sheep's clothing, or worse, cause them to leave the flock because they cannot trust the shepherd to lead them which leaves them vulnerable to the ravenous wolves.